what i hate about long bus trips.

I know I'm a loser to think about this at this juncture but whenever my journey on 109 to school or back home, I'm always thinking about the impossible.

It suck to feel melancholy but I can't help it when all the emotions are gusting back at that instant when the bus is approaching IMH (what a funny 'place of interest'). But still, sometimes I would see something which I told myself that i "don't want to" but on the other hand, it is actually the only thing that I only want and hope to see.

I don't think I make sense here hahaha but ya, everything is still pretty much the same. I forced and controlled myself although I did break the rule once but it is out of concern because a classmate is late for school. 5 months. It is considered a long period of time but jc2 curriculeum is rushing for time so these 5 months feel pretty like 1+ mth? Jowever, the sad thing is that not only the 5 months without any meet-up or chat, but not even a sms on my birthday. I was really really devastated/heartbroken/disturbed/unhappy/moody that day. I don't see why didn't I deserve a 5 cent sms. really..

I'm not a person who lives to be in the limelight, getting all the attention. In fact, I get really uneasy and I blush easily when i'm asked to present something. however, I do think that I deserve some form of best wishes from any close friends even though most of us are busy with our own lives. Maybe avoiding was something that will work out, I really hope that that date still strikes your mind although nothing was expressed.

I've done all I can to avoid everything, be it msn or whatever. You name it, I do it. okay, maybe it was what i told you that day that you really feel that it's better to leave things unsaid. i think that's the best way too. but i think i am such a ultimate idiot and "stalker" to be still waiting and wandering around aimlessly here. how silly can i get?

singhui told me not to get so emotional, learn to take things slowly and also to give up on them slowly. but i really wonder, is it because this is the first tt's why the degree of impact is even greater?

maybe i can only find out the answer until i find the one. till then, i will continue to be a lesbian, listening to S.H.E and studying perhaps? (such a big lie)

nonetheless, i still love being alone on the bus because i am given quality time to ponder on my thoughts. if only zehou never take the same bus as me! HAHAHAHAHA... opps!

i'm such a hopeless romantic.